I am sorry to disappoint you all.

I am really thankful for the people who put their trust in me.

But i am sorry. I feel like a piece of glassware. A piece of broken glassware held togther by your hopes and trust. Its has come to the point where the hopes and trust is just making the glass ware it is protecting crumble from the inside.

Was it a bad decision to challenge myself?

This sucks. There is this pain on my right wrist for more than 3 years.

I remember telling someone that i will look after my wrist so that i can hold her hand for the rest of our lives.

We have since parted ways. My wrist has never gotten better. The pain just gets worse day by day. Its
so bad that my daily activities are also affected by it.

Can i just let go of everything? can i have a break? its damn painful.

It came back

Just as I thought things were getting better. When can I move on?

Being in the army for the past

7 weeks has made me grown. It has opened my eyes to many more things.

With us being guys, the topic on ladies will never fail to surface. one of them attached to a girl whom he knew since they were 3, etc.

Why am i just unable to

How long more must this go on?

It's painful.

I was watching a Hong Kong Drama

while having my dinner less than 2 hours ago. And they said, something about the sense of smell. It is so powerful that the brain can link a scent to a certain event/person.

Here I am, telling you that its true. I experienced it myself. I still remember the scent of her hair, the scent of the detergent used to wash her clothes. All of those scent, etched deeply into my mind. I may not have completely gotten over her, but I am getting there.

I would like to let you, the one who was once the most important lady in my life that, I, sincerely wish that you stay happy and find your other half without going through so much pain. :)

Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go? Leave or go?

Understanding is the key

There was a lack of understanding from the very beginning.

Since the cracks

will always be seen no matter how its concealed, why not throw away that entire piece?

But is picking it up and throwing it away easy?

I am still unable to let go. I am still unwilling to unfollow you, unfriend you, cutting you out.

I am constantly running away, hiding everything from twitter.

I went to your thumblr some time back. Its no longer there.

I have been thinking for the past 8+ months. What will happen when you come back after your A levels? Should I leave before you come back?

Nobody

wants a boyfriend who is constantly injured, constantly in physical pain.

call me narrow minded.

i do need someone to talk to. i do need someone to listen to me, to hear me out.

but why should she see me in pain? what if i am unable to care for her?

i ever promised my ex-girlfriend that my wrist has to recover so that i can continue to hold her hand. not sure if losing her has made me more injury prone but i swear that that the time with her was the most injury free part of my life aftrr starting a team.

Sometimes

I just feel like letting go of everything. I am so tired. But seeing them smile is a great reward. should i stay?

You

are still in my mind, I dreamt of you yesterday, I woke up feeling so worried about you. );

Play these two together

I still get reminded of you, I still think of you

I know that I should and must let go. But it seems that I cant get you out of my mind.

I see people wearing that familiar uniform, that collar pin, that PE shirt.

You appear in my mind whenever I see a cat or a dog. Not because you are one, but because you love them.

151, 154, 74 all reminds me of you.

That very bus stop I used to spend hours waiting at. Waiting for your school to end.

Koi.
McChicken without lettuce.
Coke.
Straw Hearts.

posted from Bloggeroid

5th April

I will remember 5th April.

posted from Bloggeroid

that was a super heartbreaking sentence.

go ahead and kill me. i still love you. i still think of you.

posted from Bloggeroid

breaking down, falling apart.

things will never be the same once damage has been done.

posted from Bloggeroid

I am very scared. Am i just too sensitive? What am i scared of?

posted from Bloggeroid

It certainly does not feel good as I pulled that sticker out. It felt like I was ripping out my own heart as I pulled.

I dont know why, but I feel real happy when I see you smile or laugh.

its not that i dont care about you anymore. i still have feelings for you. i dont want to make things too awkward. i also have many things to worry about. i am not as carefree as people see. i still think of you all the time. i've said that if letting you go is the only thing i can do to make you happy, i would let you go.

I don't, but what can I do?

I mean it when I said that I am happy when you are happy.

Someone spoke to me yesterday with you being the topic. it made me think from a number of directions.

why do i always screw up?

and i have one, without looking for it.

if you remember, there is this occasion whereby we went on fb and qiuyu sir came by to say, "Jason, stop distracting R*******. r u going to take care of her for the rest of her life if she fails her A levels??"

That really woke me up. I really did study harder, my GPA did go up(though the improvement is not a big one).

I promised to cook for you, to run/train with you, to walk in the rain with you, i was even planning a trip to a place you wanted to go.

You have guided me , comforted me through those darkest day of the past 6 months. Now, its a miracle to wish for, for it to continue till we grow old, till our hands tremble, till our hair turns grey.

i am back

with bad news. It's over. I dont have the knowledge nor skills to maintain a relationship. It sucks.

for once, i thought/felt that i could narrow the massive difference between us.

her tests are everywhere, it was hard for us to meet up, hard for me to narrow that gap. narrowing the gap would require time, a luxury we didnt have.

when she said that she wanted to go to afa, i told her i would go with her, to step into her world, to know her more than before. seems like i wont get to do that.

on that fateful day, it was also the day of my race. i didnt want her to worry when she asked how was the race. i injured my ankle and had many crashes.

she closed her tumblr. maybe thats her way of telling me that its over.

she is the smarter one. she is able to spot conflicts in humans, spot conflicts and things that i cant see.

thats her.

we are the opposite of each other, thats what i thought could help us get together, to patch up our weaknesses with each other's strength. but it became our nemesis.

May she get well soon ):

neglect

I have been kept busy with my dear girlfriend, training, Red Cross, school, projects coming in non-stop and many other commitments.

I feel really tired but at the same time energised. very funny feeling.

hehe

3rd month, it grows with every moment, every second. love the surprises she gives to me. <3

I will always be here, beside you.

♡

More about ORANGESKIES

Many of my friends know who ORANGESKIES is.

She, yes, she. She is my girlfriend. No photos of her here. (we are shy :P)

Thats all I have for you guys now :)

HI ORANGESKIES.
LOVE YOU. ♡

HI PONKEY!

Been happy for the past 6 days :D

i want this to last forever :D